The following is a public safety announcement

Please be aware of possible Health and Safety hazards present in some areas of France.

1. Tiny, ancient streets and crazy local drivers who will not slow down to avoid pedestrians unless their car becomes wedged inside the kerb sides.

2. Travellers are warned that they will experience a desire to eat at hourly intervals, sometimes more often. Willpower alone is not an effective deterrent.

3. Take care to ensure that your limbs remain attached at all times.

4. Related to point 2 above, do not confuse ice-cream (i.e. a frozen snack shared at a park bench overlooking a pretty river) ...

.. with a similar-looking substance found on most roads and pavements. The latter substance Is Not Ice-Cream and normally has evidence that some other unfortunate has already ridden, walked or skidded through it, and it busy spreading it across the city.